


Lullaby

by MadamoiselleRomanova



Series: How Madzie Saved Alec's Life [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec adopts Madzie, F/F, F/M, M/M, alec has some internalized homophobia, alec is a good boy, alec joins simon's band, and a simon and a madzie, and shitty parents, au as fuck, but he has a great boyfriend and siblings, dad!Alec, from immediately after they save Madzie and the whole soul sword ordeal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-12 00:29:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11725752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadamoiselleRomanova/pseuds/MadamoiselleRomanova
Summary: “Alec? My nana’s gone isn’t she”Alec’s eyes burned for a moment and he took a shuddering breath before replying with a sensation like choking on the words.”Yes, yes Madzie she’s gone.” And Madzie let out a quiet sob as he continued “but I promise I’ll protect you, okay?"Honestly? This is an excuse for me to take my Alec Lightwood playlist and make Alec sing it. Also I really like the idea of Simon and Alec being friends. Alec needs someone who actually cares about the things he says tbh I love his siblings but they kinda just blatantly disregard him.





	Lullaby

Magnus was in the other room with Catarina discussing something, and Madzie lay curled up on her “tall friend’s’” chest on the couch.   
“Alec?”  
“Yes little fish?”  
“Would- would you sing me a song?”  
“I don’t- I don’t really know many songs Madzie, only a nephilim song”  
“Please? Any song is good, promise”  
Alec sighed as he looked down at the young warlock in his arms, afraid and confused and alone in the world. The feeling of a child in his arms brought him back to caring for Izzy and Max (even Jace at times) when he was a child himself.  
So he cleared his throat and rested his chin on her curly little head before singing a song he used to sing for Izzy when she couldn’t sleep.

“Nature, nurture heaven and home  
Sum of all, and by them, driven  
To conquer every mountain shown  
But I've never crossed the river”

And Alec thought about himself as a small child, being handed an infant Izzy and hearing his mother say “You’re the eldest Alexander. She is your responsibility as your little sister.”. And Alec had stared at the beautiful being swaddled in his arms and nodded in awe.

“Braved the forests, braved the stone  
Braved the icy winds and fire  
Braved and beat them on my own  
Yet I'm helpless by the river”

And Alec remembered when Jace came to them, so hurt and broken and alone, and Alec took one look at the boy and knew that he would put him back together, and he swore to protect and care for him as he protected and cared for Izzy.

“Angel, angel, what have I done?  
I've faced the quakes, the wind, the fire  
I've conquered country, crown, and throne  
Why can't I cross this river?”

And Alec remembered Izzy creeping into his bed after nightmares, because their parents were in Idris and Alec was the centre of her little world. He remembered how she would beg him to sing her to sleep and he would sing the only song he knew, that he had overheard once being sung to a baby by a visiting couple.

“Angel, angel, what have I done?  
I've faced the quakes, the wind, the fire  
I've conquered country, crown, and throne  
Why can't I cross this river?”

He remembered when Max was born, 10 years his junior. Maryse needn’t have said anything, for Alec knew his job by now was to protect his siblings and steadfastly did so. Days after his birth he was handed to Alec, to the confusion of Jace, and Alec was just as awed by this baby as he was his sister. He hadn’t seen anything angelic about his own people until he saw his infant siblings.

“Pay no mind to the battles you've won  
It'll take a lot more than rage and muscle  
Open your heart and hands, my son  
Or you'll never make it over the river”

Alec would sing this to Jace as well, when he and Jace were young and Jace was so broken by his father that he would linger outside of Alec’s door after a nightmare until Alec heard him shifting on the wooden floor. Alec hoped Jace would understand that he didn’t have to be ashamed of needing help, but it never seemed to get through and Alec never seemed to have the right words. Only a shoulder to cry on and safe place to hide.

“It'll take a lot more than words and guns  
A whole lot more than riches and muscle  
The hands of the many must join as one  
And together we'll cross the river”

Max would sneak into his room when he wasn’t holed up with a book, looking for affection from his most parental figure. A hug from Maryse only occurred in public and it was so stiff and cold it felt more like a reprimand. Alec would tuck his baby brother into his bed and sit next to him, stroking his hair like a cat as the young boy chattered about his new book or hobby or classmate. Alec dreamed that Max never had to see the horrors of their world, but realistically could only hope that his team mates were as good and loyal as Alec’s own.

“It'll take a lot more than words and guns  
A whole lot more than riches and muscle  
The hands of the many must join as one  
And together we'll cross the river”

Madzie was looking up at him with sleepy, affectionate eyes, and all Alec could think was, how can I possibly let this little girl go away with a stranger, afraid and alone, after having latched onto him?

“Braved the forests, braved the stone  
Braved the icy winds and fire  
Braved and beat them on my own  
Yet I'm helpless by the river”

As the song wound down his voice went from confident and deep to a softer tone, lulling his tiny charge to sleep.

“Nature, nurture heaven and home  
Sum of all, and by them, driven  
To conquer every mountain shown  
And together we’ll cross the river  
And together we’ll cross the river  
And together we’ll cross the river”

 

And as he slowly sang more and more hushed, gently soothing down Madzie’s hair with his hand and letting his thumb rub calming circles on her delicate hand, her breaths came deeper and her eyes fluttered shut.  
He kept humming quietly to her, hoping to stave off nightmares like he did for his siblings, and kept petting her hair softly.

At the squeak of a floorboard his head whipped around before he quickly looked back at Madzie to ensure he hadn’t woken her up. He flushed as he saw Magnus and Catarina Loss standing in the doorway to the living room, watching him fondly. In his haze of memories he hadn’t noticed them enter. He must have been laying with Madzie much longer than he had thought.

“Why Alexander, I didn’t know you could sing” Magnus said with his usual flare, “What other secrets have you been hiding from me?”

Alec flushed beet red, and Magnus grin widened.   
“I don’t- sing that is, I mean obviously I did but I don’t anymore. I used to. For Izzy, and Jace. When they were little. And Max.”  
Magnus raised a manicured eyebrow, “When they were little? Darling, Jace is the same age as you, and if I’m not mistaken dear Isabelle is only 4 years your junior.”  
Alec looked at him uncomprehendingly.  
“Yes?” he answered in confusion at the pertinence of such a statement.  
Magnus looked sad for a moment, before abruptly changing face and asking slyly. “And when do I get a song my darling? Surely you wouldn’t deprive me of your beautiful voice?”  
At this, Alec’s confusion turned to embarrassment once again. “Oh, uh, I don’t- that is to say I don’t actually… know any other songs? I-I’m sorry”  
Finally Catarina cut in, “How do you only know one song? You’re a wonderful singer Alec, there’s no need to be embarrassed, although i do apologize for intruding on a private moment.”  
Madzie was stirring now, and peeked up at Alec through her lashes. “Did your mama teach you that song? it’s really pretty.”  
Alec froze. “Oh uhh no. No Mar-my mother didn’t sing to me, I heard it being sung and remembered it for my little sister. She likes music a lot more than me.” he tried to explain to the little girl without lying and without upsetting her. Madzie seemed unconcerned, but the two older warlocks seemed a little sad.   
Thankfully Magnus and Catarina held their silence as Alec carded his fingers through Madzie’s hair.  
“Alec? My nana’s gone isn’t she”  
Alec’s eyes burned for a moment and he took a shuddering breath before replying with a sensation like choking on the words.”Yes, yes Madzie she’s gone.” And Madzie let out a quiet sob as he continued “but I promise I’ll protect you, okay? And you have Catarina too, She’s also a warlock and she’s going to take care of you at least for awhile, okay?”

But at his last words she let out a loud sob and tangled her little hands in his dark curls, arms around his neck, and said tearfully “No No I don’t wanna go with Cat I wanna stay with you I wanna stay with you Alec with my big friend. You sing pretty and you protect me and you like my gills don’t make me leave Alec i don’t wanta go!” She said frantically, clutching at him desperately.

Alec was torn. He couldn’t raise her at the Institute, and he couldn’t teach her magic like he taught his siblings shadow hunting.  
He felt like his chest was being torn in two, this sweet little warlock needed him and he didn’t know if he could help.  
He choked on the words “Madzie- Madzie by the Angel if I could- if I could I would but I-“ Alec cut himself off here. But I can’t? Why? So he wouldn’t anger his mother? So he wouldn’t anger the clave? He could, conceivably care for her. He couldn’t take her to the institute, that’s true, but shadow hunters don’t have to live at the institute if they can live elsewhere. They’re kind of payed, but mostly it was just a Nephilm’s blood borne duty to fight. He would have to do something else to pay for a place to live.

While Alec had fallen into a determined and thoughtful silence, Magnus and Catarina exchanged pained glances. They knew he wouldn’t be allowed to bring a warlock to live at the institute, child or not. But Alec had a look of grim determination on his face as he wrapped his arms around a quietly crying Madzie and started whispering to her, “It’ll be alright, it’ll be okay. you can stay with me, you can stay with me, okay? I’ll take care of you, you needn’t be afraid. I’ll protect you.”  
The warlocks exchanged a worried look now. The poor Nephilim had deluded himself. There was no away he would be allowed to keep a warlock child at the institute, Maryse would never allow it.

Magnus moved to approach his boyfriend, but was completely ignored in favour of whispering soothing words to Madzie and rocking her gently in his arms, although she was a little old for it. As she fell asleep Alec’s eyes started to flutter closed from exhaustion, and he joined her in sleep.

Magnus looked at his sleeping boyfriend and the little girl on his chest with an odd mix of affection and sadness, as he whispered to Catarina to follow him, where he magicked up a room and bed for her. “Stay the night? In the morning they’ll be more reasonable, its been quite a day”.   
He didn’t quite believe his own words and Catarina’s expression belayed the same sentiment, but she took the offered bed and Magnus left to bring his Nephilim and Alec’s new attachment to bed.  
It had indeed been quite a day.

Magnus sat on the couch and tried to understand all that had happened in the past hours.  
He had a lot to process before he joined his Alexander in slumber.

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing, no songs, no characters, no franchise, etc. I don't claim to be a good writer, but if you enjoy this, radical.  
> This story's song is The Humbling River by Puscifer; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0YxeTjFn70


End file.
